Tired, tired, tired.

Team four have arrived, and they are a lovely bunch. Ranging in age from 33 to 72, they are definately all very much up to try anything, includinga handful of spiders, cockroaches and assorted other bugs.

Interestingly, the team contains one more person than we were expecting. Myn and I were surprised to find ourselves greeting nine people at the airport, when we had only been sent the details of six volunteers.

But that's not it.

House four is in a different location from the others, and has less space around it for painting windows, preparing walls, constructing frames etc. Materials are also arriving in a different and unexpected order to what previously happened.

But that's not it either.



I'm tired.

I'm tired of second guessing what is expected of me from our country manager. I am tired of being told that what I had arranged was contrary to what she wanted. I am tired of being told that I am not telling her things, when she repeatedly fails to share very fundamental information with me. Us.

I'm tired of the deep condecention she uses to describe the Cambodian people, and the barely reduced levels of condecention that she reserves for our volunteers. I'm tired of the way she claims good ideas are hers, repeats other people's humerous comments, somehow staking ownership of them. I'm tired of the way that she has always has done more, better, had greater success, been under more severe situations that anyone else. I'm tired of her hastling people for being late or holding everyone up, when she sets arbitrary time deadlines.

I'm tired of the way she says "And that's why you should always...." in an accusatory way to somebody who has not done otherwise. I'm tired of being told that 5:00pm is too early for something, and when I rearrange things for 5:30, to be told that it is way too late.

I'm tired of trying to do my job, but can't because she is contradicting me, pre-empting me, or changing things after me.