Saturday, May 23, 2009

Waiter! There's a pig in my dinner.

We went away for the weekend. Well, part of the weekend anyway, for reasond that may become clear.

The Best Western hotel in Alsager (I name good places when I review them, there's no reason why I shouldn't name ... less good ... places too) looks lovely on its website, and indeed at first site on arrival it looks not bad. I suppose I've been to enough business hotels in out-of-the-way places not to be surprised at stale air in the bedroom or the repeated requests to know what time I want to be seated for dinner. Or the resigned feeling of realising that the view from one's window is of the kitchen waste bins.

However, there were a few special touches that this place had to offer:

When I was asked (again) what time I wanted dinner and replied that I would await the arrival of my friend, you'd think that they would mention that she had cancelled her reservation. No.

When we went to dinner and were invited to take drinks in the cocktail bar, you'd think that they would offer cocktails. ("would you like a drink?", "How about a mojito?", "Er, don't know what that is"). No.

When arriving at the table with our bottle of wine already there and opened (not opened in our presence, tut tut), you'd think that someone would pour some for us. No.

When finally one of the waiting staff brings our main course and finally offers to pour the wine, you might think that they'd know not to fill a red wine glass up to the brim. No.

When you've ordered beef medallions with an oxtail suet pudding, you'd expect to get something close to that, rather than pork medallions. No.

When you point out to the waiting staff that pork is in fact, not beef, you'd expect a bit more than a shrug and "I'll mention it to Chef". No.

I could go on. Breakfast was amusing, in a David Brent kind of way. Checking out brought a moment of levity when we were asked if we'd enjoyed our stay.

To be fair, they did discount our bill. But I don't think we'll be rushing back.


Sarah said...

What do you expect if you go to Alsager? And WHY did you go to Alsager, more to the point?

Rob (the ergonomist). said...

I've never been there before: I had no idea that fresh genetic material was in short supply in that part of Cheshire.

1 i z said...

Oh dear, I'm just feeling worse and worse about this.

We'd never have cancelled if we had any idea you were planning to come :-(

And now to find out that the hotel stunk as well :-( :-(

At least it was cheap I suppose (though maybe we now know why they're so desperate for trade). P,S and myself have a mantra in life re hotels - they either have to be good or "entertainingly bad" - did it at least salvage any credit via the latter option?

I don't know what S and N ended up doing, but I stayed on in Cardiff...I could try and pretend I had a miserable time if that would help (just don't read my blogs...should i ever catch up and write them)...

Dinner on me soon? Would that help make ammends?

Rob (the ergonomist). said...

Yes, I think it fell into the amusingly bad camp. We were certainly chuckling to each other throughout dinner, wondering what would happen next.

Breakfast was all the more bizarre for the wedding guests (did I mention that there was a wedding reception on the Friday night too?) saying things like "Ooh, isn't this fancy?", when I was thinking "oh, isn't this disappointing?".

Merlin said...

Best Western are one of lifes biggest gambles. There are some fantastic ones (the Falcondale in Lampeter is a fine example)and then some that make you feel like you need a shower for two days once you get home. I will note yours down as one of the later when consdiering business trips.