We went away for the weekend. Well, part of the weekend anyway, for reasond that may become clear.
The Best Western hotel in Alsager (I name good places when I review them, there's no reason why I shouldn't name ... less good ... places too) looks lovely on its website, and indeed at first site on arrival it looks not bad. I suppose I've been to enough business hotels in out-of-the-way places not to be surprised at stale air in the bedroom or the repeated requests to know what time I want to be seated for dinner. Or the resigned feeling of realising that the view from one's window is of the kitchen waste bins.
However, there were a few special touches that this place had to offer:
When I was asked (again) what time I wanted dinner and replied that I would await the arrival of my friend, you'd think that they would mention that she had cancelled her reservation. No.
When we went to dinner and were invited to take drinks in the cocktail bar, you'd think that they would offer cocktails. ("would you like a drink?", "How about a mojito?", "Er, don't know what that is"). No.
When arriving at the table with our bottle of wine already there and opened (not opened in our presence, tut tut), you'd think that someone would pour some for us. No.
When finally one of the waiting staff brings our main course and finally offers to pour the wine, you might think that they'd know not to fill a red wine glass up to the brim. No.
When you've ordered beef medallions with an oxtail suet pudding, you'd expect to get something close to that, rather than pork medallions. No.
When you point out to the waiting staff that pork is in fact, not beef, you'd expect a bit more than a shrug and "I'll mention it to Chef". No.
I could go on. Breakfast was amusing, in a David Brent kind of way. Checking out brought a moment of levity when we were asked if we'd enjoyed our stay.
To be fair, they did discount our bill. But I don't think we'll be rushing back.